ZOE IS FIGHTING FOR LIFE WITH RETINOBLASTOMA
Long, long time ago we named our daughter Zoe. It means ‘life’.
We wouldn’t have thought that death would be just around the corner.
This story has its beginning in the time when schools were already closed because of epidemics, and there were long lines to the shops. It was March 29th, one day before her birthday. In Zoe’s right eye we noticed a peculiar glare of light – the pupil was completely white. We wouldn’t think that it would be a harbinger of the whole series of unfortunate events. We checked the Internet out of curiosity – we thought it was an interesting physical phenomenon.
It occured that this phenomenon has its name and we quickly learnt that we would prefer not to see it at all. Concerning anybody. Leukocoria – white pupil – can be a symptom of many diseases. Among others – retina cancer. With all our will we wanted to believe that it was only a cataract.
A few days after the visit at the ophthalmologist, and later ultrasonography 
of the eye, everything was clear. Our child has cancer, a malignant tumor. Yes, she can die, she can lose her eye, or sight. We were urgently referred to another hospital for further tests, and, while everyone else responsibly stayed home during the pandemic, we rushed to the other side of the country.
The series of news and all the results we got seemed like a crazy, scary rollercoaster ride. On the one hand, we were grateful that there were no brain metastases or other signs of tumor in the left eye. Optic nerve and yellow spot also seemed not to be affected, which gave us hope for full recovery. On the other hand, we were informed that the tumor also spread to the vitreous body of the eye (the transparent gelatinous tissue filling the eyeball behind the lens). The size of the tumor was categorized as “D”. The scale ends with the letter E.
We knew, however, that intra-arterial chemotherapy to treat retinoblastoma has been used in Poland for a few years already. This kind of treatment attacks the tumor directly. Very effectively.
This was the week in which we lived between “the tumour is big and spread over the eye” and “Zoe is going to go through a successful therapy and there’s a chance for saving her vision”. We read hundreds of articles about the success rate of treatment methods. We were optimistic.
Our optimism was eventually crushed in the following week. The consultations at the oncological department were followed by the attempt at intra-arterial chemotherapy. It was unsuccessful. We heard that due to Zoe’s anatomical structure and the placement of her arteries, the administration of the most effective therapy will not be possible.
Now we know how it hurts to have your wings clipped.
The doctors haven’t tried again. On the same day, they decided to administer general chemotherapy, the type that does not aim specifically at retinoblastoma, but puts stress on the whole body. During consultations, the doctor informed us that the treatment has a chance to save Zoe’s life and, possibly, her eyeball. Unfortunately, the vision in the right eye is almost certainly gone.
Even though the optic nerve is still healthy, continuation of such treatment means that we cannot save Zoe’s life without sacrificing the vision in her right eye and putting a burden on her little body in a continuous series of chemotherapy. The possibility of eye removal, uncertain up to now, has become much more realistic. 
Our daughter still sees, still runs. She climbs everything that she can climb – and sometimes even things she cannot. This is what hurts us the most – the realisation that there will be a day in which a decision will be made whether to remove the eye that could still see.
But there is hope, the light at the end of the tunnel. This time it is not a sinister reflect of light in the pupil. This light is coming from New York. The doctors from Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center treat such big cancers as the one our daughter has. They even treat more serious cases.
They treat which means they save lives, eyes and sight.
The cost of treating retinoblastoma there is about PLN1,000,000, not including additional medical costs and the travel expenses. 
To us this price is the price of Zoe’s life. That is why we are determined, but also frightened. Not only because of the price of the treatment, as it is beyond us, but also because we fear facing upcoming issues, such as organizing the passports nowadays when coronavirus is still around us.
We are not good at asking for money, but we do believe in hundreds of people who can donate 10 zl to save Zoe. This small amount can change and save the life of our two-year-old daughter. It is her chance to live.
If she gets this chance, she will be able to burn the midnight oil as a student, she might become a fantastic driver or she will be able to still climb up everywhere she can as she loves it a lot.
You can help Zoe by making payments on the account:
Fundacja Pomocy Dzieciom i Osobom Chorym Kawalek Nieba
PL31109028350000000121731374
swift code: WBKPPLPP
Santander Bank
Title: “2633 Help for Zoe Rzepecka”
Or by DOTPAY:
